“Ask This Book”

I entered the world of publishing at a difficult time. More and more books were flooding the market, both traditionally published and self-published. It was difficult to get noticed – by agents (who get hundreds of submissions a month), by publishers, by readers.

And then it got so much worse: Generative AI was unleased.

In addition, it seems impossible to make ANY headway without @m@zon. As a self-professed lover of libraries and local book shops, I don’t buy from @m@zon, but I quickly learned, especially when it comes to ebooks, that it’s impossible to make sales without using their platform. Even better if you put your book into their ‘select’ program – then you get paid by the pages read (even if someone only reads a few pages…I mean, we’re talking pennies, but still). They have the market in their stronghold. And it’s frustrating to know what to do sometimes.

Well, they just made it real easy to walk away.

In a press release early in Dec 2025, they announced the following: “We’re adding new AI-powered reading features that preserve the magic of reading on Kindle. Story So Far lets you catch up on the book you’re reading—but only up to where you’ve read without any spoilers. For our endlessly curious readers, Ask this Book will let you highlight any passage of text while reading a book and get spoiler-free answers to questions about things like a character’s motive or the significance of a scene.“

There is NO WAY to opt out. (They claim they made this not optional because they want the reading experience to be seamless. *eye roll*)

First, I don’t want my stories feeding their AI machine – even if it’s ‘inevitable’, I will hold off and fight against it for as long as I can.

The second point is regarding this line: “get spoiler-free answers questions about things like a character’s motive or the significance of a scene.”

In other words, they are going to create content based on my IP (there are literal laws against this, and watching them try and talk their way out of it is am impressive act of limbo). And there is a good chance, given what we’ve seen of generative AI so far, they will get it all wrong. This could alter the way in which a reader experiences a book.

I went in before the ‘deadline’ to unpublish my ebooks – only to learn that I can’t until the “select” 90 days expires (you have to enroll to the program for a minimum of 90 days at a time). The timing of their announcement feels sketchy. You can’t tell me that they didn’t know 90 days before the end of the year that this feature was coming. They waited, I would wager, until most folks were trapped. Some may have had the advantage of their 90 days ending before the launch. I did not.

These moves – very much including not giving writers the options to opt out – are unacceptable. But corporations like this will continue to do it – because even if they get sued and lose (The Authors Guild is indeed pushing back on this), the damage has already been done. Their machines have been fed.

I know I won’t have the choice when it comes to my traditionally published works, but for anything I put out myself, I won’t be using @m@zon directly. (Many platforms push to them, unfortunately.)

I say all this as a warning to anyone out there who might read this who is considering self-publishing. It is, of course, your choice if you opt to use @m@zon, and I don’t judge anyone for it. Just go in with eyes open.

Libraries: Saving Me Money Since the 1980s

The week of April 6 – 12, 2025, was Library Week here in the states (though, really, every week should be library week in my eyes). One of the librarians at my college library had reached out to me – they were working on a display and wanted to know if I would be interested in being included. Specifically, they were creating a display of how much money folks can save using the library – and she knows what a frequent flyer I am…not just at one library, but two.

She had sent me a link that would estimate the amount of money I save based on the number and type (paperback vs hardcover vs eBook) of books I read each month. Well, I’m a true nerd, and thanks to StoryGraph, I know what I had read so far this year – I could look them all up and give an accurate number. Well, as someone who likes to track things, I thought I’d continue and take a look at what an entire year of frequenting my libraries managed to save me.

My two libraries are my college’s library where I teach (including all the libraries it connects me with through iShare/InterLibrary Loan) and my county library where I live. Aside from one book I borrowed from a friend (because the hold list was too long at the library for me to get it in time for book club), everything I read I borrowed from the library (or already owned, which I, of course, didn’t include here).

As a kid, I loved buying books, reading them, and then displaying them on my shelf. These days, I’m a little more picky about what I buy only because if I bought every book I read, I’d have to give up eating one week a month (I’d also run out of wall space to build bookshelves…). That being said, if I really love a book, I will buy it.

So how much did my two libraries save me on my reading adventures?

TOTAL:

  • January: $71.94
    February: $73.48
    March: $46.99
    April: $124.07
    May: $78.99
    June: $97.76
    July: $27.99 👀 (I traveled a lot this month)
    August: $100.23
    September: $71.94
    October: $116.94
    November: $108.94
    December: $105.93

    2025 Total: $1025.20
    Minus the books I ended up buying: $39.52*

    Saved**: $985.68

To be fair, because they came from libraries, most of these were hardcover, and I prefer to buy paperback. But still. That’s a good chunk of change!

*I had to buy Demon Copperhead. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I also finally bought The Hail Mary Project when the SciFi/Fantasy club returned to it.

**This is just for books. I ended up borrowing a number of DVDs this year, too, which totaled another $753.31 in savings.

Books of 2025

I mentioned a couple years that I never do the ’52 books in a year’ challenge. I love reading, so I don’t set a number – I just read. It’s difficult sometimes to make reading books a priority when my job is to read stack after stack of student writing. Most of my books tend to be read over breaks (summer/winter). For fun, I started tracking a couple years ago – I read 42 books (or 12,886 pages) in 2023 and 44 (or 17,413 pages) in 2024.

This year, I read 51 books (or 15,277 pages). For the first time, I did indeed get pretty close to that one-book-a-week pace. And unlike past years, my books were more spread out – I usually get a bell curve with the highest point in the summer.

While I did read quite a few more books than last year, I actually read fewer pages – 2,136 fewer. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Due to a couple missed book club meetings (a couple canceled, a couple I couldn’t make – one I just couldn’t get my hands on the book in time), I was able to read more books for myself than I normally do.

One thing I really like about tracking apps is the ability to easily look back at what I read the previous year. My favorite from nonfiction (27/51) was The Sing Sing Files by Dan Slepian. This should be required reading – especially for anyone in public office. My favorite fiction (24/51) novels were Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver and rereading Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (I listened to it this time, and the audio book was well done – which is saying something, because I don’t do well with audio books at all). The most surprising loved book was 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clark. I honestly went into it dreading having to read it – but I LOVED IT. Hoping to read the next in the series sometime soon.

What did your year of reading look like?

*If you’re on Goodre@ds but looking for a non-@m@zon alternative, check out StoryGraph. You can even transfer your Goodre@ds records over to StoryGraph – so no lost information and no wasted time trying to add every book you’ve ever read.

First Friday Rec: The Small and the Mighty

Title: The Small and the Mighty
Author: Sharon McMahon
Genre: nonfiction, history, informative
Pages: 320
Publication Date: Sep 24, 2024
StoryGraph* Moods: informative, inspiring, hopeful
How I Stumbled Upon This Book: Armchair Expert interview
Other Books by this author: no others at the time of writing this
*StoryGraph also offers content warnings.

Description: According to BookShop.Org, “You’ll meet a woman astride a white horse riding down Pennsylvania Ave, a young boy detained at a Japanese incarceration camp, a formerly enslaved woman on a mission to reunite with her daughter, a poet on a train, and a teacher who learns to work with her enemies. More than one thing is bombed, and multiple people surprisingly become rich. Some rich with money, and some wealthy with things that matter more. This is a book about what really made America – and Americans – great. McMahon’s cast of improbable champions will become familiar friends, lighting the path we journey in our quest to make the world more just, peaceful, good, and free.”

Why I recommend this book: For one, it’s written unlike a history textbook. So if you found those to be dense and boring, then you’ll appreciate the tone and understanding of audience that McMahon demonstrates (and, in places, a bit of humor).

At its core, each chapter is about the impact a single person can have, and at a time where things can feel unstoppable, it’s inspiring to know that one person’s life can go a long way to making the world a better place. I was particularly drawn to the chapters dealing with education, where folks began just trying to build a school in their community in an effort to educate their children – but then didn’t stop there. One such person went on to train other teachers. One went on to build other schools. One, after her school, her life’s work, went up in literal flames didn’t admit defeat – she kept going.

Some of the stories are a bit surprising, like that of a partner to Sears & Roebuck, whose name is not well known because it was Jewish – who worked the broken system to make a huge impact. (One may argue he could have worked to change the system instead of living in it; ok, yes, but – we need to read these stories in the context of their times, to remember what was at stake.)

“Both of these things are true at the same time. America has been just, and it has perpetuated injustice. We have been peaceful, and we have perpetrated acts of violence. We have been—and are—good. And we have done terrible things to people who didn’t deserve them. It has been the land of the free while simultaneously sanctioning oppression.”
~ Sharon McMahon, The Small and the Mighty

A Million Pound Challenge

About two years ago, my writing group (which had come together mostly because we are part of the same workout program – plus I dragged my writing buddy along) started talking about our goals for the following year. We talk about both our writerly goals and our workout goals. One of the members said she was thinking about doing a million pound challenge to try and get her workouts back on track.

A million pounds? I felt like that gif that goes around a lot:

I mean, was that even possible? An entire MILLION pounds?

I did the math.

That’s 83,333.33 pounds a month.

Or, if you lift three times a week, it’s 6,410.27 pounds per session. (Assuming you don’t miss any days…)

The program I follow is lower weight (as in not trying for personal bests every time) but high reps. It was possible. So I went for it. (I’ll admit, I got a little flexible with what I allowed myself to count the first year. I live in the midwest. So yes, I weighed a shovel full of snow and then counted how many shovelfuls I lifted off my driveway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I did what I had to.)

And I made it – I lifted my millionth pound on Dec 30 of that year.

When I decided to repeat the challenge, I opted to make it “clean” – meaning no more functional fitness pounds lifted would count toward the total. I was lifting heavier weights at the start of this year than at the start of last year, so it shouldn’t be too tricky, right?

Well, I didn’t expect that stretch in May when I got sick. Or that three week stretch in July when I spent a week in Scotland (we planned it only a couple months in advance), got sick again while back home for a week, and then headed to Washington State for another week. Those missed workouts added up, plus a few here and there when I could only work two lifting days into a week (I workout at home with an Olympic weight lifting bar and plates, so if I’m not home, I don’t have access. I do travel with bands, but it’s not the same.)

Even so, with the bumps (and, yes, bruises) along the way, I made it. 💪🏻 (I’ll admit, there were some extra sessions the last few weeks as I’ve been home so much.)

This year, I lifted my millionth pound on Dec 23 – and not a single flake of snow was included in this endeavor. 🤣 (Though there have already been plenty of opportunities to shovel already this winter.)

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do the challenge again. It’s a lot of time adding totals and what not – and some days, I just want to lift the heavy things and be done with it. But it is indeed a good motivator to get those workouts in. I’m planning to do it again – and try to hit that goal even earlier.

Writing the Introvert

I’m an introvert. I write introverted characters. People that know me are not at all surprised by this. While there are, of course, extroverts in my stories, I honestly don’t think I would even know how to write an extroverted character from their own point of view (like…how do I even get into their heads?).

Thus, when I was recently going over comments from my editor who exclaimed shock when my narrator outed herself as an introvert, I was in turn also shocked that she hadn’t picked up on that… There were then other comments throughout about how an introvert wouldn’t do this and an introvert wouldn’t do that – as though being an introvert means one thing and one thing only.

This encounter reminded me of all the other conversations I’ve had over the years about what an introvert does and does not do, most of which involve the stereotype of an introvert that is shy and awkward, who hates people and won’t take risks. Except none of these things is what makes an introvert an introvert. Even as an introvert, when I had first learned the word and that it applied to me, all I knew were the stereotypes – and when the most outgoing person I knew shared that they, too, were an introvert, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.

Yes, introverts can be shy and risk adverse, but so can extroverts. Yes, introverts can feel comfortable alone, but so can extroverts. Yes, introverts can get tired out by large crowds, but so can extroverts (it just usually takes them longer to feel it).

It all comes down to how our brains are wired. Introverts tend to get tired out by stimuli quicker than extroverts (but extroverts DO get tired by it, too). We also react differently to dopamine – it can make an introvert feel run down, while an extrovert may get a little buzz from it. (This is why we introverts often need to retreat to recharge – we’re overstimulated and need a place without much stimulus that will just continue to overstimulate us. This is why we rewatch comfort shows – we know what’s coming. A lot of extroverts realized this for the first time during the pandemic when they, too, couldn’t handle the overstimulation of watching some new and instead returned to the familiar.)

We also process information differently. Extroverts tend to process externally, while introverts tend to process internally. By the time an introvert voices a choice, they have likely thought through all the possibilities and are ready to move on it. Extroverts may need to talk out all their choices before they can decide on something. (This can cause conflict when you pair these two – an introvert announces their decision, and then the extrovert tries to talk through it with them because they think that’s what they need. It may take us longer to make a decision, but when we do, we’re certain of it.)

Introverts also have a higher blood flow to their frontal lobe than extroverts – this helps with remembering things (perhaps one of the introvert benefits that I do not have), solve problems, and plan ahead. (We are the best ‘what if’ people to have around when planning something.)

(This, by the way, is why you cannot actually be an extroverted introvert – your brain can’t be wired for both. Chances are you mean outgoing introvert.)

It can be difficult being an introvert – our world is built for extroverts (as, often, are our stories). Most jobs require you to network (small talk…need I say more?). The loudest people in the room, the ones quickest to speak, are often seen as the leaders. Important decisions are often made in meetings where we have to express our thoughts out loud (introverts tend to prefer written communication because we can think through our thoughts and ensure we’re saying what we want to say). And a bit in a story where the narrator goes on a walk to reflect on some good news is seen as boring – we want stories that are exciting and fast-paced. (Well, some people do. Others, like myself, like quiet stories, too.)

The world needs both* of us. And so do stories.

*There is a growing theory that Introversion and Extroversion are not actually a binary and exist on a spectrum. This ‘both’ is not meant to slight that. I’m commenting on the the binary society has created pitting Introverts and Extroverts against one another (often with Introversion being something that need to be ‘fixed’ – which it absolutely does not).

Scholastic

I was a student who did indeed love school – I still love to learn.

That being said – my absolute favorite day was the day the teacher showed up with a stack of those Scholastic catalogs. I’d get to pick out a book. And it was FREE?!?!

The other day, I was waiting in the drive-thru line for my caffeine hit to be made when a Scholastic truck drove by:

Y’all – the way my ENTIRE body filled up with JOY at the memory! To know that this company/program is still around, quite honestly, gives me hope in a time I so desperately need it. (As does Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library – if you don’t know about it, and there are kids in your life, check it out!)

A couple days later, apparently the universe knew I needed a bit more joy – a friend shared a post that Scholastic launched a free streaming platform with shows like Clifford the Big Big Red Dog, The Magic School Bus, The Babysitter’s Club, Goosebumps, etc. (You can access it by downloading the Scholastic app on Roku or Amazon Fire TV.) If you’ve got kids in your life, share this, too. Or, you know, if you want to relive your own childhood, check it out for yourself.

A gift from a friend who knows me oh so well. 🙂

First Friday Rec: Christmas B¡tch

Title: Christmas Bitch
Author: Jack Lelko
Genre: fiction, magic realism, Christmas/Holiday
Pages: 468
Publication Date: 2022
StoryGraph* Moods: Hopeful, Reflective
How I Stumbled Upon This Book: Full disclosure, Jack is my writing bestie.
Other Books by Lelko: There is a sequel in the works. 👀
*StoryGraph also offers content warnings (though there aren’t any listed for this book).

Description: This story follows Ophelia O’Leary as she makes her way through a series of chaotic Christmases – but not everything is as it seems. While her family and friends see her as a bit of a meddling menace, there’s method to her madness – Ophelia creates chaos to help those around her find their correct path. Along the way, we meet a cast of characters who all have a beef with Ophelia; gathered for the holiday, they share their memories (that include things like a bedazzled taser, a weaponized fruitcake, and the reappearance of a once-thought-missing family heirloom).

Along her journey, Ophelia has Clarence, her best friend who knows her better than anyone else – even her own sister. But that’s because they have known each other for many lifetimes. He helps keep her on track – and often keeps her upright as her chaos sews discord with those she loves.

Why I recommend this book: Aside from my writing bestie being the author, I’ve read this book several times because I love a good character-driven story, I love magic realism, and I love a sassy/sarcastic character/narrator. In addition, the braided plot weaves together in such a satisfying way with moments coming back to the surface in a new light. Yes, I read it the first time because Jack wrote it. I keep reading it because I love returning to Ophelia and all her friends.

But don’t take my word for it:

“Don’t be fooled by the title. The story within is one of growth, family and relationships.

Jack Lelko’s mastery of prose weaves multiple intricate storylines into one beautiful cohesive tapestry. My highlighter struggled to keep up, so many gorgeous lines.
‘When you know who you are, fear isn’t necessary.’

The overarching message of needing to leave one’s comfort zone in order to progress and ultimately find more joy and happiness was a pleasure to read.

Anyone looking for a contemporary fiction with a dash of magic and a heaping dose of witty sarcasm needs to give Christmas Bitch a read.“

— Ashley Ottesen, Goodreads

You can watch Ottsen’s full review on YouTube (where she noted that, to date, this was her most tabbed book and gave it a “10/10. no notes”).

“That’s the thing about stories. It’s all about perspective.”
~ Jack Lelko, Christmas Bitch

Come See me in the Good Light

It’s strange – when you come to know the work of an artist where it feels as though you might actually know them (we don’t, of course – it just feels that way) – but then you come to the moment where you realize there’s nothing new left of theirs for you to consume – and there never will be.

I’ve written several times about poet Andrea Gibson – talking about them during National Poetry Month and writing up short reviews of their collections and picking one of their books as a First Friday Recommendation. Writing about their death was a difficult one. But at that moment, I knew there was still something new that I had yet to experience. Well, two somethings.

The first was the documentary Come See Me in the Good Light:

I knew about it first from Gibson, who was open early on (as they were with most things in their life) with all of us about what they were going through – with their cancer diagnosis and this film. When they finished and traveled with it, I had considered making a trek to see it because I knew this would likely be the last opportunity I’d have to see them in person. (By then, they had shared with us that their cancer was now labeled incurable.) Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to (which makes me cherish all the times I’ve seen them perform and the instances I’ve been able to interact with them even more).

Thankfully, in April, they announced that AppleTV would be distributing the documentary, which won the Festival Favorite Award at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival, and eventually, Nov 14 was listed as the release date. That’s today – the day I’m writing this (though not the date I’m posting it because today’s blog post already went live – plus, I hadn’t intended to write about this). Even knowing Gibson as I did, and knowing their work, I was ready to be blown away (but no pressure to the film makers, of course) – and I hit play.

And then it hit me.

This was it. This would be the last new thing from my favorite poet that I would ever get to consume – for the first time. Much as I wanted to press stop, to leave it as something new of theirs I had yet to experience, I couldn’t. So I watched, and I laughed, and I cried. Yep. I cried. A lot. Not because Gibson had cancer (and had since died) but because they maintained their humor and their beautiful spirit, and they turned their documentary about life with cancer into a love story – the love they have for their partner, the love they have for their fans, and the love they have for life.

Even if you have never heard of Andrea Gibson before, I implore you to watch. (If you’re not sure yet, check out the trailer.) As Sara Bareilles put it in Variety: “Andrea knew that this film was gonna hold a lot of heavy material, but it’s so funny. You watch this film and Andrea is hysterical, hysterically funny, as is Meg. So you’re laughing a lot, and it’s just a joyful, life-affirming film that happens to be about cancer.”

Megan [reading to Gibson from her memoir]: Cancer care proved to be octopoidal. My phone–
Andrea: Octopoidal? Megan: Yeah.
Andrea: What the fuck is that? Megan: What does it sound like?
Andrea: I have no fucking clue what that means, Meg. That one’s too much, I’m sorty.

If you were paying attention, you might be asking – what’s the second thing?

My artsy worlds collided when one of my favorite singers (Sara B) found Gibson’s work. In that same Variety article quoted above, she says, “I got introduced to Andrea’s work on Instagram…It was all of those videos they would share, and I was just so moved by their generosity and courage to share something so intimate, and with so much lightness. I think that’s one of Andrea’s superpowers, this ability to hold the dark matter with so much light and real love…There’s a lot of really incredible wisdom in their perspective.”

Sara B eventually met Gibson (saw them perform) and got involved in the film by way of producing. And then got to take it one step further. The team was looking for something to end the film with, to roll with the credits. Cut to – Sara B taking snippets of Gibson’s unfinished work and, in collaboration with Brandi Carlile, creating a love song out of it. (Yep, she finally wrote someone a love song – and who better than for Gibson?) Never in my life did I expect to experience a collaboration between Gibson and Sara B – but here we are:

Gibson still lives on in the work of their partner, Megan Falley, who has been just as open and generous with her own experience and grief after Gibson’s passing, including this writing about having to grieve her partner alongside Gibson’s other love of their life, their dog Squash (of A Letter to my Dog fame), which she wrote about in a post called “Grieving Andrea with the One Who Loved Them Longest.” I highly recommend listening to the poem and then reading the post.

It is hard to think there will never be another new poem to experience for the first time – but Gibson gave so much in their too-short life, and there’s much to return to.

“I can measure my wellness by this question: Is my attention on loving, or is my attention on who isn’t loving me?”
~ Andrea Gibson, You’d Better Be LIghtning

300th

It’s weird for me to consider that I am currently writing my three hundredth post on this blog. Partly because Dec 16, 2017 feels like a REALLY long time ago (the date of my first post). But also, that means that I have been consistently posting here every Friday for almost EIGHT YEARS? I’m sorry. What?

When I started this blog, it was in response to ‘advice’ out in the world that having a presence online was important for new authors – and at that point, that meant the face app, the photo app, the bird app, and having an established blog. Since then, ‘blogs’ as we knew them (part of someone’s website) aren’t much of a thing anymore. Posts have become part of social media, and there are any number of platforms that one can post in the hopes of gaining a following (and, in some cases, a paycheck). And here I am, still typing along on my website to… likely no one. Why?

Because I can, and it’s a habit that I like. It forces me to write about things I likely wouldn’t otherwise – because you have to come up with an idea to write about in the post, and then repeat every week until…well, who knows how long. I’m a little surprised I made it eight years, to be honest. But here we are.

A lot has happened since that first post. I finished my first ever novel-length manuscript, revised my little heart out, found some incredible beta readers, revised more, queried, and even signed a contract with a publisher to put that story out into the world. I’ve written three and half other manuscripts. (Two are out in the world – Wherever Would I Be and Goode vs Melville. One is waiting for it’s first revision phrase. One is waiting for me to figure out where I want to take it.) I started research on a new novel that has been pushing itself forward.

I’ve also continued to teach (hello year seventeen?!?!), and I joined three book clubs. I’ve been to Scotland twice and am plotting to move there someday. I attempted to drive Route 66, but after the fourth tornado, I turned around. I also lost my favorite two fuzzy writing buddies.

The world shut down and reopened a changed place.

And I continue to type. I’m Ami Maxine, by the way. It’s nice to meet you. See you on post 301.